airport

No Quote Will Sum it Up..

Posted on by Goingmadss

I find myself writing this on a plane, like a lot of my posts lately.. I guess flights give me space and time to think.

I’ve had a very trying past few weeks, and was prepared to write about a life altering event that my family and I went through, but it seems.. I don’t know.. like it’s not my story to tell; therefore, I’m going to vault it. I do want to talk about something else though. I want to talk to you all about friendship. It sounds so silly as I type it out. I feel like the term friendship is so arbitrary at this point. Like.. what does it even mean? To be friends with someone? Before yesterday, I firmly believed that caring about someone with everything you had would be enough, and I have sadly learned that it is not.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I have the most truly amazing people in my life. And if anything, yesterday brought to my attention just how important they are, and I’m not sure that I deserve them. But I cherish them. To Lauren and Ethan, I love you more than life.

I used to feel bad for my friends that were so guarded, unwilling to let people in. How miserable that must be, to see the worst in people from the start. But now.. well, I think I’m starting to understand it, and I’m just late to the party. Lucky for them to have figured it out so early on and save themselves tremendous heartbreak.

I know that you’ll never read this, but I’m going to write it to you anyway, so it’s out in the universe. Maybe if it doesn’t help us, it’ll help someone else.

You came literally crashing into my life at a time when I needed someone like you the most. You helped me find a version of myself that I thought I had lost. I love you. For everything that you are. For you, you are freedom, Jameson and ginger, and under eye freckles. You are late nights and laughter.

You are enough.

I don’t presume to actually know you. I see a lot under the surface that you’re unwilling to show me, wounds that you pretend don’t exist and treat secretly when no one’s around. And maybe I’m wrong, maybe you’re fine. Regardless, you became very important to me in such a short time. I’m not sure what’s to become of us now, but I pray to whatever is out there that this is not the end of our story. I’ve been replaying what happened and trying to figure out how I should’ve done it differently. I think to myself, if I had just let it go, not have gotten upset, not have expressed out loud to you that I was upset, none of it would’ve happened. I wouldn’t have spent my last night in my city for what might be the last time we see each other in an ocean of drunken sadness and disappointment.

I’m sorry.

I have another friend, one that also came into my life fairly recently who has proven herself to be quite the insightful little bitch 😜 and she suggested that I write today. She’s literally only seen me in some of the worst times of my life and she has absorbed all of it and returned to me only love and support. I see myself in her, bringing me what I try to bring to my friends. And I will make sure that she never goes through what you’re putting me through right now. I will show her that her care for me is enough, despite fights or disagreements. And I hope that she will remain open and unguarded, like I used to be. She reminds me daily that everything happens in the way that it’s supposed to. If we’re to work through this, we will. If we’re not, we won’t.

The ball is in your court bubba. Please throw it back.

Please.

R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

Posted on by Goingmadss

“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.” -Peter F. Drucker

I’d like to tell you a story. Throughout these previous months, I have been flying back and forth from NYC to Oklahoma City. Almost every flight has been accompanied by delays, cancellations, and general DRAMA. I won’t go into all of them, but one of these flights brought me a certain clarity concerning a topic that is often brought up regarding the Millennial generation: respect and commitments. For our purposes, respect related to commitments.

After multiple flight changes and cancellations due to weather and other issues, I was finally on a plane to Chicago from NYC. I had only bought a ticket to Dallas this time, mostly because of the difference in price. I thought, I should easily be able to find my  way back to OKC from Dallas, no problem. I had a friend that was willing to drive to Dallas to pick me up, but with all the cancellations and delays, she was unable to make it so much later in the evening that initially planned. At this point, I had planned to stay the night at a family member’s home and get a ride from my brother in the morning. Here’s where things get interesting.

I’m sitting in the bulkhead middle seat (possibly the worst?) between an excessively self-announced film hand working DEEP in the Hollywood film industry and a burnt-out attorney eagerly asking everyone around him to download a new app he has invested interest in (It’s called Ribbon, feel free to check it out for yourself). In between the celebrity name dropping and general self-interest on my left and the desperation and self-loathing on my right, my exhausting story of unfortunate events is laid out. A woman my age seated behind me then taps my shoulder and states that she was on the same unfortunate itinerary as me and will also end in Dallas late into the evening. She then goes on to offer me a seat in her car, which she will be driving up through Oklahoma City once we land. I eagerly accept, wanting nothing more than to be home as soon as possible.

During our layover in Chicago, I help her and her wheelchair-bound grandmother with their things and get seated at the gate. Here, she begins her vetting process to decide whether or not I am a safe and trustworthy travel companion. Fast forward two hours: we have become friends on Facebook, followed each other on Instagram, and I’ve even spoken indirectly with her husband. I wait until the last second before the plane takes off, making sure that she is 100% committed to our plan, and text my family member to say I no longer need a place to stay for the night. I have now respectfully declined a familial offer of hospitality, and will allow them to go to bed without further word from me.

Fast forward a few more hours, our plane lands, and this woman finds me to take back her generous offer. She states that she now realizes she’s too tired to make the drive and will be staying in Dallas with her grandmother for the night. ***I’M SORRY..WHAT?***

Literally, I was so excited to be able to turn this into a post about how millennials are wonderful and generous and open, willing to help a complete stranger get home for Christmas. Instead, I am forced to write a post about how all those people who bash on us were right in this situation. This 20-something woman lacked respect for the commitment she had made to me, one in which I had altered other plans that were contingent on her following through. Everything worked out, I got a hotel at 1130pm and hitched a ride in the morning, but that’s not my point. I also understand that people get tired and these things happen, she prematurely agreed to something that she wasn’t able to follow through with. I’m upset because I feel like this has become a part of Millennial culture. Everyone follows the mantra of “I must do what’s right for me in this moment, regardless of how it affects anyone around me”. It makes us seem immature and unreliable and I am not a fan.

Honor your commitments people. It matters. **Rant over, thanks for hanging in there everyone**

Road Trippppp

Posted on by Goingmadss

“We can’t know what’s going to happen. We can just try to figure it out as we go along.” -Roger Sullivan

I’m currently sitting in the Houston Hobby airport half lit.

I’m waiting on my connecting flight to Albuquerque to meet up with two very special friends of mine from back home for a road trip across the Southwest. (Fun fact: an Ultra in the airport is $7 😩) Moving on, I want to tell you a little bit about these two.

First up, Taylor *code name: Red Panda*. She’s a wildly funny redhead with a flair for the dramatic. Some of her favorite things include wine, carbs, and Jesus. She’s been the subject of many a Snapchat story and I’m proud to call her one of my tribe.

Next is Kassey Jae *code name: Moscato Fancy*. She’s a sassy traveler with deep roots for home and family. She enjoys sunsets, bonfires, and all things Tuff (the cutest damn dog you ever did see). She tends to be at the source of most of the trouble I get into and I love her for it.

We’ve been the trio for more than a few years now and never seem to have trouble keeping it going despite my traveling absence. Millennial girls in a millennial world I guess, cross country communication comes naturally to us. Those are best kinds of friends though, right? The ones you can pick up with wherever you last left off as if no time has passed..

See, Moscato Fancy and I have done this before. A few years back we took a trip where we flipped a coin each day to decide where to go.. and I definitely just tipped most of my beer onto my pillow and the floor of the airplane while typing this.. I’ve really got it together.. Anyway. This will be Red Panda’s first experience with a ‘plan as you go’ road trip and I’m very excited. I hope you are too.

Stay tuned 😘