“but the beauty is in the walking – – we are betrayed by destinations.” -Gwyn Thomas
I got some bad news yesterday. My license to work as a nurse in the state of New York is taking longer than expected, and my start date for my contract has been postponed for a month. I’m now living in one of the most expensive cities on this earth, with no income.. cool.
Normally, I would be losing myself to the stress that accompanies this type of uncertainty..BUT I have decided I’m going to learn how to enjoy the journey. As a very future oriented person, the finish line is always in sight for me. I want to fast forward through the struggle to the moment that I accomplish my goal, only to start over again wishing for time to move to the next goal. As I get older, I am learning that this is no way to live. I overlook the real fulfillment that comes with overcoming the struggle.
So while I’m living here, unemployed, I am going to be walking dogs through a new (very Millennial) app called Wag!. It works like Uber for dog walking. Clients will request a walk ASAP or on a specific day and time, and walkers will accept walks as they choose. Yesterday was day one.. and I was bitten. Story of my life. I was so psyched to play with puppies all day while getting exercise and learning the ins and outs of the city. Second walk in.. this dog is not a fan of having a leash on and lets me know it in a very aggressive way. And I started bawling. My thoughts were as follows:
What am I doing? Why can’t I find direction for my life? What decisions led me to be an on-demand dog walker in NYC at 26 years old. Why am I so dramatic right now? Nope! Don’t do this. Wash the blood off your hand and the doubt from your mind. This is where you are supposed to be. This is the journey.. learn to enjoy it.
I get outside with this dog after lassoing its leash around its neck and it won’t even walk. I’m literally dragging it down the sidewalk to get one lap around the block.. like seriously? Why does the owner have strangers walk this cranky slug? I had to use a chopstick and a pile of treats to get the leash off after and left like I had stolen something.
So let’s recap. I’m a 20 something with no idea of where she’s going or what she’s doing and now she’s walking dogs. Right on.